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Articles
| Hospital Visits Made Easy |
grace1 writes, "Imagine that you are sick. Imagine that you are tired. Imagine you are in a hospital room.
Imagine that you even have to share this hospital bedroom with someone you do not even know. Imagine many hospital people who come and go all hours of the day, never knock, just barge right in, they poke and probe and ask questions and never seem to have time to really listen to the answers. You are so sick and tired of being sick and tired and just when you fall asleep someone wakes you up to take a pill to help you sleep.
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Imagine a visitor comes, they walk right in and interrupt the Doctor who finally came by to answer your questions or you are in the middle of a sponge bath. Oops, would have been nice if they had knocked before coming in. It’s mealtime and you are so tired that it takes all your energy to eat, and they drone on and on about how sick they have been or what their hospital visit was like. Then after standing above you and you having to look up their nose they decide to sit down. Imagine they decide not to sit in the chair but on the bed. Imagine that with them on the bed the covers are pulled tight over your feet and start to hurt and your IV and tubes are being pulled. Imagine the guest has now decided to pick at your food, “Shame to have it go to waste”. Imagine you can not wait for them to leave, you do not have the energy to play host and yet do not want to hurt their feelings.
Some of us do not have to imagine very hard to visualize the above situation.
“I was sick, and you comforted me”
–Matt. 25:36
I hope that with these suggestions the hospital visit you make will be successful.
1. Make arrangements for the visit. Call First. If you talk to the sick person ask him or her, “Do you feel like visiting? Or “Is it all right with you if I come to visit?” If you cannot talk to the patient, talk to a family member to see if the patient is up for visitors. If a patient has made it known that she or he prefers not to have visitors, you need to respect that wish.
Prepare yourself with prayer before seeing the person. I find prayer is very grounding and a method for me to leave “My stuff” behind me when I visit a person. Then I am able to listen to them and “their stuff”.
2. Wash your hands. For the patient’s safety, wash and dry your hands thoroughly before going into a patient’s room to visit. Prayer: “Lord, may I wash away my fears and worries so I may be a vessel of your love for this person, this child of Yours whom I visit.”
Also wash your hands thoroughly after visiting.
3. Respect the person’s dignity and privacy. Even if the door is open always knock before entering a room, and wait for permission to enter. Allow the patient to have some control over their private space. Ask, “May I sit down?” or “Is this a good time to talk?” People feel vulnerable in a hospital bed; it is like you are visiting them in their bedroom.
4. Maintain comfortable eye contact. Place yourself below or at their eye level for the comfort of the patient so they may talk without the strain of looking up. Pull a chair close to the bed and speak clearly enough that the person can hear you comfortably without disturbing others. Focus on the patient once you are in the room. Look them in the eyes and hear and see what they are feeling and say. Practice unhurried listening.
5. Don’t stay through a meal. The person you are visiting needs to eat if possible. Ever try to eat when someone is staring at you? An exception to this is if the patient needs assistance in eating. Busy nurses will welcome your help if this is the case.
6. What to say and how to say it.
Greeting. When greeting the person, introduce yourself by name as well as the name of the church. The patient may be on medication that makes them “fuzzy”. Help them to put your face and name together. Let the conversation begin on a topic that is neutral. Often people really want to talk about ‘normal’ things- what’s happening at the church, what friends are doing, what’s happening in the world. “Is this a good time to talk?” Be cheerful. A smile is often one of the most refreshing things a patient sees all day.
Let the person visited take the lead on subjects and depth of conversation. Let him/her suggest the ground rules for the visit (length, topics of conversations, expectations). Appropriate touching on the arm or shoulder is OK. There is power in your touch. Touch shows you are not rejecting or afraid of the person. Let the patient do most of the talking. You might ask, “How are things going today?”
YOU carry the conversation. The person you are visiting is ill, perhaps in pain and feeling weaker than usual. It is not her/his job to entertain you or make you comfortable: it’s yours to comfort them.
Listening- 90% of the reason for being there- allowing someone to tell their story, to speak and know they've been heard, to share their situation with someone not directly affected (unlike family or staff). (They may not want to do this or they may).
Realize that all feelings are valid and need to be experienced, accepted and expressed. Listen openly to the patient express, pain, anger, guilt, fear and other emotions without judgment either through words or body language. Most people do not expect you to fix anything. They just need someone to listen while they work it out for themselves. Learning to listen is an art with healing powers: one you can freely give.
7. Keep your visit short. Be sensitive to the person's energy and condition so you don't overstay your visit. However, don't be in a hurry or act like you need to leave. Make short visits about 5 to 10 minutes depending on your relationship, purpose, and the patient’s energy level. It is not the quantity of time you spend with the person, but the quality. Someone who is sick will tire more easily than usual, and it’s a kindness to stay only a short time (unless the person genuinely wants you to stay longer). The most important thing in the world you have to do is be with the person right now.
8. Ask to pray do not assume. You are there for the patient- their needs - not for the parish or the church. When appropriate- you might gently offer to pray before you leave. “I will remember you in my daily prayers … would you like me to pray with you before I go?” There is no one right way to pray, just a few words asking God for comfort, for family concerns, healing or that God’s will is accomplished in this sickness and recovery. Or, the two of you can say the Lord’s Prayer together.
Example: “Dear God, thank you for never abandoning their name, and for being with their name through this. Thank you for all the people who love their name, and all those who are praying for her/him. Thank You for the skill of the doctors and nurses. Thank You, God, that whatever comes next, We know it will be all right.”
9. End your visit on a positive note. Do not make excuses on why you must leave. Tell them how much you enjoyed talking with them and how you look forward to the next visit. Do not say you will visit and not return. Keep your promises. Often as you get ready to leave the patient will say “Oh by the way…”what they have wanted to talk about during the visit. Acknowledge what was said and make a point to start or pick up that topic at your next visit.
Remember it is YOUR PRESENCE not what you do or what you say that is most important.
It is our presence with one another that helps us make Christ present to each other.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. - Proverbs 3, 5-6
Helpful hints by Grace Michelle 870-431-5251
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Posted on Jan 11, 2008 18:58pm.
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